Author archive
More Motoring Matchmaking
We know that the number of cars on offer these days, both new and second hand, is pretty overwhelming. This is why we do our best to match up the right car with the right person. This is one of the reasons behind our car reviews, so you can get an idea of what each new vehicle coming onto the Aussie market is like (and quite a few second-hand ones as well, as our archive of car reviews goes back to 2008). Nevertheless, even this can be a bit daunting if you don’t know where to start.
Mercedes Benz Logo
It’s all very well for motoring enthusiasts who know their Mazdas from their Mercedes (what is the plural of Mercedes? Mercedi? Mercedeses? Mercedoi?). But what about those looking for a new car who don’t know quite so much?
Mazda Logo
To help out this category of people, we’ve put together a collection of stereotyped people along with their motoring needs and a suggestion as to what car would suit them best. As before, if you can relate to one of these stereotypes but you already have a particular car in mind that you want, then you can go ahead and ignore the suggestion – or if you can’t stand the type of car we suggest for some reason (e.g. you object to the imagery of a particular logo, such as the serpent swallowing a humanoid figure of Alfa Romeo), then feel free to reject our suggestions!
This time, it’s the gents’ turn…
The Professor: David is known at his university for his brilliant research and for his lecturing style, which is full of digressions and tangents but still manages to be interesting… if you’re into applied mathematics. In terms of motoring, David doesn’t need to carry much, except the laptop, a briefcase of students’ papers to be marked (yes, even in these online days, there are some of these) and maybe a suitcase to be carried to the airport before a conference. With nearby conferences, he may take another passenger with him. Whether he’s driving alone or whether he has a passenger, David’s brilliant mind often finds driving tedious and if he’s not careful, he will be a bit slow off the mark at red lights because he’s been finding the square root of the registration plate number on the car ahead of him. There also have been a few close calls at intersections and lane changes. As numbers do it for him and he has been known to use his own motoring habits as raw data, he’ll collect all sorts of statistics from the car’s trip computer and use them to make up real-life examples for his undergraduate lectures.
Suggested vehicle for David: Lexus ES, Audi A6, Volvo S90, Mercedes Benz E-Class, Skoda Fabia, Skoda Octavia, Mazda6
Volvo S90
The Sportsman: You usually find Bryan out on the rugby field or a field for any code of football, as long as it involves getting muddy and sweaty, and possibly bloody as well. Either that or you’ll find him in the showers afterwards. Bryan is generous minded and is the first to volunteer to drive everybody he can fit into a vehicle to an away game… and he gets a few laughs out of being the designated sober driver after the match who videos everybody’s drunken antics and posting them on social media (hopefully in a private message or on something less permanent like Snapchat). As ferrying a vehicle full of muddy, sweaty and possibly intoxicated adults can get a bit… fragrant… the vehicle should be easy to clean. A good sound system is a must for everybody to sing along to (or at least make a noise that can loosely be described as “singing” but sounds more like a donkey in pain).
Suggested vehicle for Bryan: Honda Odyssey, BMW 2-Series Gran Tourer, VW Touran, Toyota Tarago, Kia Carnival, LDV G10, Hyundai iMax, Peugeot 5008, Skoda Kodiaq
Kia Carnival
Cop Wannabe: Stephen loves cop shows and movies, and he nurtures a few dreams of entering the force. If Stephen wasn’t stuck behind the desk in his job as an accountant at the moment and loaded with mortgages and responsibilities, he’d sign up to train as a rookie. In the meantime, he tries to live his fantasy out when he’s behind the wheel, filling in time stuck in traffic daydreaming about being hot on the trail of a desperate criminal. This fantasy is particularly vivid when he’s got the family dog (an Alsatian, of course) in the back as his “K9 partner”. If it’s his turn to carpool the kids, he has been known to tell some of these vivid stories, suitably edited for tender ears, to the kids to entertain them on the way. During the ride, he is quick to pounce on infringements by other drivers and any misdemeanours by the kids, such as opening doors. He adores gadgets and telecommunications that play into his dreams of being contacted by a dispatcher, even if the dispatcher is the wife asking him to stop in for bread, milk and cat food on the way back from work.
Suggested vehicle for Stephen: Audi RS4, Audi A6 Avant, Volvo V60, Volvo V90, Subaru Levorg, Subaru Outback, BMW 5-Series Touring, BMW X5, Porsche Cayenne, Alfa Romeo Stelvio, Suzuki SX4, Land Rover Discovery, Mazda CX-9, Skoda Kodiaq
Audi A6 Avant
Ladies Looking For A Long-Term (Motoring) Relationship
It would be fun to run something along the line of a personalised matchmaking service but for cars, meaning matching people to cars. If you’re not a motoring enthusiast, the range on offer out there can be bewildering. What’s the best car for your lifestyle that’s going to suit you? While we might not be able to provide this sort of service – or at least not yet; we do our best to make the process of buying a great new car easy – we can at least describe a few lifestyles and types and make suggestions to help you find the new love of your life… in the automotive sense.
Of course, even if you can relate to any of these people, there may be other great cars out there that suit you to a T (whatever the T that suits you is) and that you love, so unless it’s totally impractical, you are allowed to go for it!
Ladies first, so here’s three typical, almost stereotypical, people and the sort of car that would suit each one best…
Busy Mama: Andrea has two children, aged 7 and 4, as well as a part-time job at the local dentist’s, where she works as the receptionist. Each day, she has to get the kids to school and kindy, get to work, then pick up the kids, get Jack to after-school soccer practice (and the match on Saturday morning), and grab some groceries a couple of times a week on the way home. A few nights a week, she leaves the kids with her husband and goes for a night out with the girls (lucky her!), which, at her stage of life, involves a book club but not the amount of alcohol that would put her over the limit to drive home. There’s the odd trip to the movies, shopping trip and visit to her mum’s to be done in the car as well. The car has to be prepared for all occasions, meaning that the cabin and/or storage has to hold a few packs of nice healthy almonds or not so healthy muesli bars for emergencies when the kids are hangry, spare sweaters for when Jack left his at school, pen and paper for last-minute notes to the teacher, the reusable shopping bags, a lipstick, and somewhere to stash all the rubbish. then the groceries and school bags have to fit in as well. The budget’s a bit tight until little Violet starts school and Andrea can pick up more hours, so a frugal car is a must.
Best car for Andrea could be: Mazda 3 or a Mazda 2, Subaru Impreza, Toyota Corolla, Ford Focus, Hyundai i30, Suzuki Swift…
Mazda 3
Dog Lady: Meredith has been on her own for quite a few years now since the kids left home, got married and provided her with grandchildren. For day to day purposes, the doggies are her children. Meredith has three dogs, each of which gets nothing but the best in the way of food, entertainment and medical care. Meredith is still active and mobile, but the dog park, where she chats to other doggy enthusiasts and lets the pooches have a good run, is a bit far for a woman of her age to walk with three lively dogs in tow. When it’s not being used to ferry the dogs to the dog park, the grooming parlour or the vet, it is used to collect the groceries, most of which is jumbo packs of dog biscuits and doggy treats. Now and then, it’s used to pick up some of the kids Meredith teaches piano to.
Best car for Meredith could be: Honda CR-V, Toyota Rav4 or Kluger, Mazda CX-5, Mitsubishi ASX, Subaru Forester or Levorg, Nissan X-Trail, Ford Mondeo Wagon, Mazda 6 Wagon, Holden Commodore Sportswagon, Peugeot 308 Touring or 3008, Volvo XC60 or XC90 or V90…
Honda CR-V
Gen Z Getting Started: Kristy has just finished her nursing qualification and is in her first job at the local hospital. The hours are long and it can sometimes be a hassle finding space in the staff carpark, but she’s enjoying the work, mostly. Exercise is a great way to shake off some of the stress, so Kristy often stops off at the 24-hour gym on the way, so her yoga mat, stretchy bands, trainers and lycra leggings are always in the car, except when they’re in the wash… which is usually done at the laundromat on the way home. On her days off, Kristy likes to hit the beach and catch a few waves on her surfboard, stopping at the farmers’ market for fresh produce (sourdough bread, check; organic avocado, check; free-range eggs, check… hope the suspension’s soft enough that the eggs don’t crack on the way back home).
Best car for Kristy could be: Subaru Forester or Levorg, Nissan Qashqi, Toyota Camry, Toyota Corolla Wagon or Hatch, Honda CR-V, Kia Sportage, Hyundai i30, Mazda 2 or 3, Mazda CX-3, Renault Megane, Suzuki Vitara or S-Cross, Volvo V40, Volkswagen Golf, Skoda Rapid…
Subaru Forester
How To Recycle A Car
One of several elephants in the room during the debate on whether or not electric cars should be subsidized or pushed more is the issue of what happens to the old ones that used internal combustion engines (the other elephants include the ones relating to how the electricity will be generated, where the materials for the batteries are going to come from and whether the national grid can handle the extra load). After all, we’ve all seen the junk yards where sad piles of rustbuckets from the early 1980s and written cars sit around going nowhere and doing nothing. What happens to a car once it’s got to the end of its life and can’t be restored or repaired?
Mind you, it’s amazing what can be restored if people are keen enough. At her wedding, my cousin arrived in an antique car from the 1910s that had spent a decade or so as a chicken coop before being found by an enthusiast and lovingly restored to its full beauty – and it really was lovely!
Anyway, not all dead cars will be used for spare parts, which is the first thing that springs to mind when any car enthusiast thinks about what happens to old cars. Most of us amateur mechanics have headed down to the wrecker’s yard for a spare part or five. However, there are some bits that are no good for spare parts – quite a lot of bits in the case of something that’s been in a smash. The idea of all these car bodies sitting around and taking up space horrifies the environmentalist in me – and I’m the sort who thinks that the waste issue is a lot more serious than carbon emissions.
The good news is that despite those dreary car graveyards, there’s quite a lot on a car that can be recycled. In fact, 85% of the typical car body can be recycled.
The first thing that happens when a car is to be recycled is that the fluids will be drained, and they really do mean all fluids, not just any gas left in the tank and the oil in the engine and transmission. The coolant and what’s in the air conditioning will all be whipped out – and a lot of it can be purified and used in another vehicle. Used car engine oil can be used as fuel for shipping. The gas that activates the airbags will be carefully released – if the airbag hasn’t already gone off in the case of a crash.
Next, the vehicle is stripped of anything that’s still useful. This often includes the battery, the sound system and other electronic bits and bobs, the tyres (if they’re in good condition) and items that wreckers know to be popular and in demand. In fact, the car wreckers do a very good job of salvaging anything that can be salvaged. Even the floor mats are usually good enough to find a new home, as these hardly ever wear out.
Of course, not everything on a dead car can be salvaged and reused as is. But the job of recycling an old car doesn’t stop there. There are more materials that can be harvested from a dead car as part of the recycling process. Most parts of a car can be recycled in some way.
The most obvious component of a dead car body is made of top quality steel. This is very straightforward to melt down and purify so it’s as good as new. Some stats claim that 30% of the steel produced around the world actually comes from recycled metal.
The real goldmine is the catalytic converter, which is almost literally a goldmine as it contains precious metals that can be salvaged from a non-working catalytic converter, and reused in other catalytic converters (obviously) and in jewellery.
What happens next to the car bodies?
The battery contains quite a lot of lead, which is why they weigh so much and why it’s no fun dropping one on your foot. Getting the lead out is a fiddly process that should only be attempted by an expert, but it can be removed as the battery is stripped down, and the metal can then be reused, mostly in other batteries. The plastic casing, once the acid has been neutralised, is also recyclable.
Interior trim can also be salvaged. In the case of leather upholstery, this leather can be turned into fashion accessories, with handbags and belts being a common fate. In the case of fabric trim, this can be shredded and recycled into new furnishing fabrics.
Wiring is another source of metals, as wiring usually is made of copper. Wires in good condition can be used as is, or else the plastic coating is stripped off and the copper inside can be melted down and reused.
Dashboard plastics can be polymerised and turned into a new type of plastic that’s got all sorts of uses, including making outdoor furniture, like plastic picnic chairs.
Tyres used to be the big nasty when it came to recycling old car bodies because they’re so tough, but that’s no longer the case. There are all sorts of things that can be done with them. More or less intact tyres can be used by clever people to make garden furniture. Shredded tyres are used as safety cushions in children’s playgrounds for when someone falls off the swings. In some parts of the world, the flatter bits are used as soles for footwear – they’ve got a really cool tread pattern! Grind the tyres up smaller and they can be used for the surfaces of running tracks or as roading material.
Glass is also very versatile, and can either be ground down to cullet (which is what you call ground up glass). The cullet can then be used for sandblasting ships to clean them or it can be used as road surfacing. Cullet can, of course, be melted down to produce fresh glass, including the safety glass used in vehicles. Windscreens also contain layers of plastic, and this can also be salvaged and recycled.
The big thing to remember is that one should never try to strip down a dead car for recycling unless you really know what you’re doing, as there are a lot of hazardous materials involved. Leave it to the professional wreckers for the most part. Things you can remove yourself safely enough unless you’re a complete idiot are the speaker system and any other electronic gadgets (especially if you put them in as an after-market upgrade), the fuel in the tank (siphon it out) and any of your personal belongings you left in the glovebox.
Tips For After An Accident and some Funny Insurance Claims
Most people wouldn’t expect to be involved in a car accident. There are some driving habits which some drivers do have, illegal or otherwise, that would definitely make them more prone to having an accident. With all the modern crash-avoidance safety equipment on-board new cars crashes still happen – whether it’s your fault or someone else’s.
So, what should you do after an accident has happened? Here are some safe procedures you can make a note of:
- Stop the car.
- Turn off the engine.
- Switch the hazard lights on.
- Check for any injuries to yourself or your passengers.
- Call the police and an ambulance immediately if anyone is hurt or if the road is blocked.
- Share your name and address with everyone involved if the accident caused damage or injury.
- Swap insurance information and details with the other driver(s).
- Take down details of any other passengers and witnesses to the accident.
- Try to find out if the other driver is the registered owner of the vehicle, and if they are not find out who the owner of the car is and get that information too.
- Record the make, model, colour, and number plate of the vehicles involved in the accident or take pictures of them.
- Record the time and date of the crash.
- Record the driving conditions, including the weather, lighting, and road quality (such as road markings, whether it’s wet or muddy, repair of the road surface).
- Record what sort of damage was caused to the vehicles and where. Use your phone to take pictures of the scene and the damage to the cars.
- Record any injuries to drivers, passengers, or pedestrians.
- Record the names and contact details of any witnesses.
- Phone your insurance company as soon as possible – ideally at the time of the accident.
After the accident, submitting a claim for car insurance can be a bit of a stressful business, and it certainly pays to double check what you have said over the phone or have written on your claim form. Here are some genuinely funny car insurance claim statements below:
- A pedestrian hit me and went under my car
- As I approached an intersection a sign suddenly appeared in a place where no stop sign had ever appeared before.
- Going to work at 7am this morning I drove out of my drive straight into a bus. The bus was 5 minutes early.
- I collided with a stationary truck coming the other way
- I had been driving for forty years when I fell asleep at the wheel.
- In an attempt to kill a fly, I drove into a telephone pole.
- I had been learning to drive with power steering. I turned the wheel to what I thought was enough and found myself in a different direction going the opposite way.
- I had been shopping for plants all day and was on my way home. As I reached an intersection a hedge sprang up obscuring my vision and I did not see the other car.
- I pulled away from the side of the road, glanced at my mother-in-law and headed over the embankment.
- I saw her look at me twice. She appeared to be making slow progress when we met on impact.
- I started to slow down but the traffic was more stationary than I thought.
- I was on my way to the doctor with rear end trouble when my universal joint gave way causing me to have an accident.
- I was sure the old fellow would never make it to the other side of the road when I struck him.
- My car was legally parked as it backed into another vehicle.
- No one was to blame for the accident but it would never have happened if the other driver had been alert.
- The claimant had collided with a cow. The questions and answers on the claim form were – Q: What warning was given by you? A: Horn. Q: What warning was given by the other party? A: Moo.
- The accident happened because I had one eye on the lorry in front, one eye on the pedestrian and the other on the car behind.
- The accident occurred when I was attempting to bring my car out of a skid by steering it into the other vehicle.
- The guy was all over the road. I had to swerve a number of times before I hit him.
- The pedestrian had no idea which way to run as I ran over him.
- The pedestrian ran for the pavement, but I got him.
Level 2, 9 Help Street