Archive for 2015
Oh Volkswagen, How Could You???
Dear Martin Winterkorn and the rest of the VW team,
Why did you do it? Why, oh, why did you fit your common-rail TDI diesel engines with cunning devices that cheated during emissions testing? Did you mothers never tell you that “cheaters never prosper” and that honesty is the best policy? Didn’t you realise that it was just a matter of time before you were busted?
Make no mistake about it, Martin. We like your cars. We all know how iconic Beetles and Combis are. The Beetle is the quintessential car that gives everybody a smile and has real personality. Even if practicality dictates that a Beetle can’t be part of our driving life, we love them anyway. We love the tough Amarok and Touareg, the snazzy Golf and Passat. We like the practicality of the Caddy and the Transporter. The fact that the recall affects five million cars worldwide just goes to show how much we like your vehicles.
We also like diesel engines. We like the way that a diesel engine tends to be more forgiving in the hands of a learner driver who’s learning not to stall. We like the way that diesels have better torque for towing and off-roading. We also like the way that diesel can be produced from environmentally friendly and sustainable sources like algae and waste oil to make biodiesel.
Surely, if you’ve got designers with the intelligence and skills to come up with an engine that’s smart enough to recognise when it’s being put through lab testing and adjust its emissions readouts, you have the team needed to develop an engine that has lower emissions all the time. Let’s face it: developing that took a lot of skill and sophistication. The same skill and sophistication could easily have been applied elsewhere to make your already good cars even better. So what was the point of cheating?
Now you’ve got the bother and expense of recalling all the affected VWs (and Audis and Skodas) with the engines in question. And several have been banned for sale here in Australia, which is really bad news for all of us in the automotive industry. All those lovely Golf hatchbacks, Tiguan SUVs, Passat sedans and wagons, Audi A4 sedans and wagons, Audi A5 coupes, Audi Q5 2.0 TDI SUVs, Skoda Yeti SUVs and Skoda Superb sedans and wagons suspended from sale here Down Under, languishing in car yards instead of being on the roads where they belong. Anything with a fitted with 1.6 or 2.0-litre EA189 diesel engine, in fact.
The news informs us that a few of your engineers and suppliers spoke up as early as 2011 (or even 2007) warning you not to misuse the technology. I hope you’ve been nice to them. You should have listened.
Now you’re stuck with damage control. You will be able to bounce back from this. Lots of vehicles have bounced back from scandals, from the Ford Pinto fiasco to the Mercedes that rolled over in the Moose Test. Your cars are certainly good enough. We will buy them again… once you’ve made honest vehicles out of them.
Possibly, you have done the automotive world a service. You have highlighted the fact that driving in a lab test isn’t the same as driving in the real world. Maybe after this, cars will be put through real world tests in real-world conditions so their fuel economy (and emissions) stats will reflect the real thing. Lab testing is like sucking your tummy in when you get out the tape measure: it might make you feel nice inside at first but will leave you feeling horribly squeezed later. So thanks for highlighting this issue.
Yours sincerely,
Megan
PS: VW Owners: More information is available at the VW website as it becomes available.
Funeral Cortege Etiquette: Follow That Hearse
Nobody likes going to funerals. For a start off, you’re dealing with having lost someone you knew, or you’re there to support a friend who’s lost someone. Then you have to dress up in smart, dark clothing, head off to a church or chapel that you may not be familiar with, sit on uncomfortable seats and hope like mad that half a billion relatives don’t stand up and give interminable eulogies. Then you’ve got the trip to the graveside, following the hearse.
This procession of cars behind a hearse going from the church/mosque/chapel/synagogue/other significant ceremonial place is known as a cortege. Or cortège if you want the fancy French spelling. This is supposed to be a stately procession. The idea here is that the hearse leads the way, usually taking the minister/priest/rabbi and the coffin. The chief mourners (i.e. immediate family) will come next in the procession. To take part in the cortege, set out from the chapel or wherever the funeral was held and follow the hearse. Don’t dawdle.
When you are driving in the cortege, you get to have your headlights on dip during the day (here’s where you hope you can override those automatically dipping headlights). Also don’t forget to turn your headlights off when you get to the cemetery or everybody will get a flat battery. Don’t overtake other people in the procession and let the hearse set the pace.
Well, in most situations, you let the hearse set the pace. At my father-in-law’s funeral, we (a) had quite a long way to go to get to the cemetery, (b) had a hearse with a fairly powerful engine and (c) had a petrol-head vicar who might have been egging the hearse driver on. I don’t know how fast that hearse was going, but my husband didn’t half have to plant the boot in the Ford Fairmont we had back then to keep up with the hearse. Other family members struggled to keep up the pace and one bunch of my in-laws who had a less zesty Honda Odyssey MPV were Not Impressed. It would have been a traffic cop’s dream situation: a whole line of people all over the speed limit, quota of speeding tickets filled in one day and a great story about I Clocked A Hearse Doing 120+ To The Cemetery.
What if you are not part of the funeral procession? What’s the best thing to do when you see a long line of cars with their headlights on dip containing drivers in dark suits following a hearse? These days, you probably need to check to make sure that it isn’t just a bunch of car-pooling businesspeople with daytime running lights, but usually the presence of a hearse, children in the car and several cars that are too old to have daytime running lights are a bit of a giveaway.
What you may not know if you see a funeral procession is that you have to give way to it. This means all the cars in the procession. In New South Wales, it’s actually against the law to break into the funeral procession, cut in or otherwise interfere with the smooth process of getting mourners to the graveside on time for the final part of saying goodbye. Even if it wasn’t the law, it’s common decency and respect for others.
You can see why if you can imagine the same situation taking place on foot. If you saw the minister and the pallbearers carrying the coffin on foot along a walkway, followed by black-clad grieving relatives wielding tissues, you wouldn’t overtake them and get into the procession if you were approaching from the rear. (In other words, overtaking Cousin Hannah with all the kids in tow so you walk between her and Cousin Jeff before overtaking Cousin Jeff and Uncle Timothy…) If you were approaching them at right angles, you wouldn’t barge straight on through them, getting in the way. The same rules of courtesy apply when you are in a car rather than on foot. Dipped headlights are the motoring equivalent of black clothes, tissues and flags at half-mast. Respect them.
Unfortunately, a number of people have reported rude drivers cutting in to funeral processions, either by not giving way to them or by overtaking and interrupting the procession. Obviously, traffic lights don’t count (if the hearse driver has any sense, he/she will drop the speed so other members of the procession can keep up and not get lost.).
If you do lose sight of the rest of the cortege, your phone will come in handy (hands-free if you’re the driver). Cemeteries are usually located outside central business areas and may involve obscure suburban streets. Having another relative with the phone on in other cars will help if you do get lost or separated from the rest of the procession. Just don’t forget to turn it off when you get to the cemetery.
If you are not part of the procession, then give way. Pull over and let them pass you if you accidentally find yourself in the middle of a cortege. Yes, it’s inconvenient and you don’t want to. However, the people in the procession don’t want to be there either and they’re going through a lot more inconvenience than you. If you’re late for a meeting, your clients/boss/co-workers understand (even if it’s a job interview, this might earn you points for courtesy). Or go around another way if you’re really in a hurry. Yes, life is busy these days. But it’s not so busy that you can’t be respectful of other people’s feelings and show some respect.
Have other people had experiences with funeral processions that were interrupted by rude drivers cutting in? Or any other examples of a cortege that didn’t quite go according to the textbook plan? Share your stories here.
Safe and happy driving,
Megan
Private Fleet Car Review: 2016 Kia Carnival S Petrol.
Designing a people mover for the road is simple: take a box, slap on four wheels and you’re done. But what do you do if you want a truly stylish people mover? Many companies have tried and some have failed. Some have come out with award winners, such as Honda and their Odyssey. To make a BIG people mover look nice is no easy task yet Korea’s Kia have done so with their 2016 Carnival. Carnival is also the vehicle of choice for a company that specialises in producing vehicles for disabled and wheelchair bound people, Automobility.
A Wheel Thing was pencilled in to sample the diesel engined Carnival, however due to an incident with that car, was given the keys to the petrol powered S, the entry level model. It’s an interesting price point, too, for the big car (it’s 5115 mm long) at $41490 as it’s both well featured as standard and just $500 more than the Optima Platinum…
Kia has fitted the Carnival with a 3.3L V6 and a 2.2L diesel four cylinder, with both available through the four level range. Power and torque from the petrol engine is 206 kW (6000 rpm) and 336 torques, at a high 5200 revs. This contributes to the woeful economy of the petrol powered version, with Kia’s own figures quoting 15.9L of unleaded for every 100 klicks covered in an urban environment, right where the Carnival’s main usage would be. It also explains an 80L fuel tank being fitted. Compare that to 147 kW (3800 rpm) and a more than handy 400 Nm of torque between 1750 and 2500 rpm, with six litres of diesel LESS being consumed over 100 kilometres.
Transmission is a six speed auto and it’s one of the best around. Under almost all driving circumstances, gear changes were invisible, with the flick of the rev counter the only indication of a change. It’s responsive, reacting to throttle input instantly and works well enough in hustling the 2048 kg beastie along nicely. There’s plenty of whoa to match the go, with a beautifully weighted pedal feel, with bite on the 320mm/324mm discs, front and rear, as soon as you touch the brake pedal and hauls the Carnival up nicely.
Ride quality surprised, surprised in that it was softer than expected. The S rolls on 17 inch steel wheels, with 235/65 rubber, with that sidewall height accounting for some of it, surely. Driven at appropriate speed over the speed calming bumps locally had the Carnival barely registering their existence. 
Handling, however, wasn’t compromised, with a surefooted and deft feel to the steering being communicated. Turn in was mostly well balanced, with perhaps too much for some drivers. A Wheel Thing was certainly surprised by the alacrity at which the Carnival responded to a turn of the tiller.
Somehow, Kia’s design team have taken a box and made it look European. Complete with the brand’s “tiger nose” signature, the sweeping headlights and a kick in the window line, the looks bely the length, the near two metre width and 1755 mm height. They’ve engineered in a 11.2 metre turning circle, wonderful for the size.
There’s no shortage of interior space, with a 3060 mm wheelbase, even with seating for eight. Kia have spent time and money here as it’s a beautiful place to be and the mechanisms for folding the seats are no more complicated than pulling a lever. There’s not just split folding either, as each seat is individually mounted on rails. There’s aircon controls for the rear and with vents for both middle and rear seats. Family friendly? Oh yes, indeedy. With seats folded and removed, there’s a massive 4022L of space available.
All the seats themselves are wonderfully comfortable, especially for the driver and passenger. They also face a simple yet elegant dash, complete with dashboard mounted chiller for SLi and Platinum (the S gets a non chilled unit), a huge centre console storage locker, some of the best ergonomics you’ll see for a family car and a pleasing mix of plastcs, both for tactile and visual looks.
Being the entry level model, it’s a small screen for the radio (Really wish the Koreans would do RDS…) and a small display for the dash, with a insert that shows what can be shown further up the range (3.5 inch OLED display for Si and SLi, 7 inch screen for Platinum).
Being a family car, it’s loaded with safety, with airbags, electronics for driving aids (the Platinum gets the extra toppings like Lane Awareness and Rear Cross Traffic Alert) plus the 7 year unlimited kilometre warranty to sweeten the deal. Lob in 3 USB charging ports and 12V sockets, 14 cup and bottle holders and it’s abundantly clear just how much thought has gone into the Carnival.
The Wrap.
The U.S. market is fickle, predominantly a 4WD ute or pickup market, yet the Carnival (Sedona in the states) has cut through enough to be named the best minivan. Even with the S being the entry level model, There’s plenty to love about the big people mover, bar the fuel economy for the petrol engine. It’s fun, this Carnival.
For the complete rundown on the range, click here: The incredible 8 seater Kia Carnival.
Equipping The Perfect Parent’s Taxi
If you have children over school age, you probably have to ferry them around to school, sports, parties, activities and heaps more. What’s more, given our busy schedules these days, it’s usually all done in a rush. Or at least getting everybody into the car with everything they’re supposed to have is done in a rush. Traffic lights and speed limits stop the actual driving being done in a rush.
Oh, the freedom that comes when your teenager gets their P-plate and can take themselves to activities! Strange that they’re probably thinking the same thing.
However, while the madness is going on, it’s a wise idea to have your car well equipped with everything that you might need. All those family-sized SUVs, station wagons and MPVs come with stacks of storage space, so you may as well take advantage of it and put the stuff you are going to need in into it. Careful planning will mean that your car and what’s in it will help save your sanity.
The well-equipped Mum’s Taxi or Dad’s Taxi should have the following:
- Easily stored food that can be fed to small sports players after training who forgot to pack a post-training snack. This helps fend off the whingeing to visit McDonalds and grizzles fuels by low blood sugar. Dried fruit and nuts store well. If you have a diabetic in the family, a good supply of barley sugars, jelly beans or little sachets of sugar picked up in cafés are another must.
- A first aid kit with plenty of sticking plasters. Vital when some kid decides to kill time at the traffic lights by picking off a scab and bleeding all over the place.
- Paracetamol or aspirin. Make sure it’s the sort that doesn’t need to be taken in water.
- A spare jacket or sweatshirt, preferably several. Inevitably, there will come a day when it suddenly buckets down with a southerly buster and someone failed to bring warm clothes. Sometimes, that person is you.
- A few grooming tools – hairbrush or comb and a few hair ties. If you’re really in a hurry in the mornings and you have girls with long hair, the girls can brush their own hair in the car while travelling along. For that matter, so can you (not recommended if one member of the family has headlice).
- Books to keep the troops amused if you break down or have to wait for ages for the road works. Large thin ones that tuck into back-of-the-seat pockets are easy to store. Have several handy to avoid squabbles.
- Wipes. For dealing with the blood after putting a bandage on the child who picked off the scab. Also good for cleaning faces.
- Hand sanitiser. Even if you find a public toilet when some child is busting to pee, said toilet may not have soap. Enough said.
- A travel potty. For when you are stuck in traffic on the M1 or Sydney Harbour Bridge or whatever and someone needs to pee. It sounds disgusting but it’s a lot better than having someone wet their pants, as the smell will linger in the seat for ages. Just remember to empty it at the end of your journey. For Number 1 only, not Number 2.
- A towel. For cleaning up vomit if someone throws up, for wiping down fogged windscreens, for protecting seats if someone fell into the mud at the park, for folding into a neck support when someone falls asleep, for using as a blanket… If you were into the sci-fi cult classic Hitchhiker’s Guide To The Galaxy, then you’ll have heard of the usefulness of towels. Like Ford Prefect, know where your towel is. (Question: the alien Ford Prefect in that series adopted that name because these cars were so common on the roads. If the late Douglas Adams was writing his series today, what would he have called this character? Toyota Corolla?).
Safe and happy driving, whether or not you’re on Parent Taxi duty,
Megan
Level 2, 9 Help Street