Archive for 2013
Toddlers, Tantrums and Car Seats
Waaaah! I don’t wanna get in the car!!!! I wanna play on the roundabout again! I don’t wanna get in the car!!! Don’t wanna! No! No! No! Waaaaaah!
If you are a parent, you probably recognise that sort of conversation and your heart sinks. Because in spite of what your toddler thinks, he or she is going to have to get into the car. And you can’t just pick them up bodily and plonk them on the back seat like what used to happen in the past when the typical passenger car didn’t have rear seatbelts. Oh no. It’s got to be the car seat, securely buckled in.
If you have a four-door sedan, hatch or station wagon, you are in luck. The job of getting a stroppy toddler throwing a tantrum into a car seat will only be moderately difficult. Now you know why big Ford Falcons and Holden Commodores are such popular family cars in Australia. The difficulty level goes up a notch if you have an MPV or a 4×4 with seven seats and the car seat is right in the back row or in on the driver’s side… with a van-style door on the passenger side. As for a three-door hatch or a two-door sedan or coupé – boy, you’ve got problems. Anything that can be clung onto in an attempt to resist being put in the car seat will be. Toddlers have surprisingly strong grip and the door pillar (aka B pillar) in, say, a 3-door Suzuki Swift is just the right size to be grabbed. And then you have the issue of folding down any seats in the way with a screaming, wriggling little body in your arms.
Next, you have to actually wrestle the toddler into the car seat, and get all arms and legs into the right place so you can do up the harness… which children between 6 months and 4 years have to have. This is definitely a two-hand job, so sling whatever you can onto the driver’s seat to keep it safe. It can be tempting to hold a stroppy kid in place with a strategically placed knee, especially with those harnesses that require two hands to do up. This does not look good, although in extreme cases, it can be done very gently and lightly. What makes this wrestling job worse is that the person you’re trying to get into the seat is likely to be kicking and hitting at you – and even a two-year-old is capable of hitting you quite hard in the vulnerable areas that tend to be exposed when bending over to do up a car seat harness.
So what are you going to do? Here are a handful of ideas that might work for you and your child:
- Bribery and corruption. Offer a treat as a reward once the car seat is done up. Might work once or twice but this sets up the idea that once a tantrum is thrown, a reward is given in order to stop it… so another tantrum is started next time to get the reward for stopping.
- “The cops will be very cross with you and me if you don’t have your seatbelt on.” It’s probably not the best to use cops as a sort of bogeyman who will Get You if you don’t behave, as this does create a bad image of cops as bad guys later on, but can work. Even more effective if a cop is nearby and can be inveigled into telling the child to wear the seatbelt or else.
- “You need to be safe in the car in case we crash.” Won’t work. Crashes are an abstract concept for little kids who have never been in one. Explaining and reasoning with someone who thinks a tantrum is the best solution to a problem never works.
- Hold the child on your lap, or put him/her in a safe place until the tantrum finishes. Then put your child – who will probably be exhausted by now – into the car seat. Requires patience. In a supermarket car park, the back seat of the car is a good safe place for the tantrum to take place. If you sit in the car and do nothing, eventually your toddler will decide that being buckled in and going somewhere is a lot more fun than screaming and throwing a wobbly in the back seat of a stationary car.
- Distraction. Works for tantrums in a lot of situations. Requires a sense of humour and the willingness to look silly in a car park. You could try making the car “throw a tantrum too if you don’t let me put your seatbelt on” and then see what you can do with hazard lights, horns and/or car alarms. Alternatively try “Can you do a louder scream than that?” or “I can see another scream coming – have a look and see it in the car mirror? What about in this mirror? Does it look the same? What about in the other wing mirror?” Or mimic your child by going “Waaaah! Don’t wanna!” back at them or in synch with them.
If only it was this easy…
If tantrums about getting in the car are a common problem, then allow yourself a bit of extra travel time margin for them to take place. This takes the stress off you slightly.
Hang in there. They do grow out of the tantrum stage eventually. Later on, you’ll get the “Can I borrow the car keys?” issue, but that’s another story.
A MINI Problem
I have mentioned previously that I am not a native to Australian shores. Alas, my origins are much more British in their nature. But I see this as nothing but a good thing. This gives me the opportunity to bring together two wonderful worlds in a colourful explosion of thought and opinion. Now, I spend many an hour scrolling through the underbelly of the Internet looking for the latest news from the automotive universe; every now and again something catches my eye that is just perfect. News has reached my ears regarding the spread of MINI in Australia. It would appear that MINi are struggling to sell the MINI Paceman.
The Mini Paceman
Within the first 7 months that the model was on show to the public, only 93 were sold. In fact, overall MINI seems to not be doing too well in its introduction to Australia. This did get me thinking; what is going on here? Is there any explanation?
Traditionally, the Mini is a very British invention. In fact, not only does it characterise what it meant to be involved in British culture, but the Mini Cooper was a fully fledged film star. ‘The Italian Job’ is one of THE most successful British films of all time, gaining worldwide success. Here is a fun fact:
Due to the Italian filming location for the film and various funding sources, the cars for the film were originally going to be Fiats. Fiat was the most popular everyday car in Italy throughout the mid-20th century after all. But the film makers put their foot down and it was confirmed that the Mini would be the car used in the film.
Original Theatrical Trailer for ‘The Italian Job’ (1969)
The Stars of the Show – ‘The Italian Job’ (1969)
However, in more recent years, MINI was taken over and transformed, when the name was bought by BMW. And so began the modernisation of the Mini. At first, the relaunch of the MINI Cooper brought back the entire Cooper-craze across the world. The Mini even found fame in the USA with the absolutely terrible re-make of the Italian Job, made bearable only by Charlize Theron if I am truly honest.
One of my personal confusions with this new Mini was the fact that it was well, massive. I can assume it was some sort of symbolic oxymoronic construction having a rather large car being called Mini, but still. The old Mini was small, zippy, plucky and full of character. This new one however, although definitely an individual sexy little so and so, had lost some of that original character, mainly down to the fact that it was no longer that small.
Everything was going so well… It may not have been the old Mini but it was definitely a positive step… It was all going well…
Too well…
The new MINI – It went through various forms after the initial relaunch
As with so many of the great things that exist upon this fair planet, everything took a sudden downhill tumble. It would appear the BMW owners decided they wanted to squeeze as much life as possible out of the MINI name. I am sure there are a few good ways to use the MINI name to bring out some new cars. I always thought a MINI GT or Supercar would have been wonderful. They may have looked a little on the strange side, but I liked the idea behind the Coupe, Convertible and Roadster. It was making the MINI into a fully fledged road going brand. The only thing I would have definitely said should be avoided was the spacious 4×4 route. I mean who would be stupid enough to start introducing a 4×4 edition of the MINI onto the market. Only a complete idiot would do something like tha-
*phone rings* “…hello? You’re joking right? They didn’t did they? a 4×4 MI- well thank you for telling me”
Well this is a little awkward. It turns out that is what MINI actually decided to do. At first they thought the best thing to do would be to elongate the Cooper into the Clubman. Horrifically enough, this then ‘inspired’ them to construct the ClubVAN. I mean seriously guys, what is going on? The best way to describe them is taking a the front end of a MINI and adding the back end of a Ford Transit onto its behind. Words fail me. Literally fail me.
And then came the turn of the Countryman and the Paceman. The SUV/4×4 style MINI that was meant to give the customer the perfect MINI for when ‘they ran out of road”. The problem with introducing a 4×4 MINI is that MINI is owned by BMW. And BMW are not exactly known for manufacturing the best off road machines known to man. I mean the BMW X5 failed both on road and off road.
The MINI range. Notice the size… Bigger and Bigger… Uglier and Uglier…
And so we have returned to the original subject matter. Why is it that the new MINI range is failing in Australia? I would like to think that the fault lies in the range itself. The designers at BMW/MINI did not really think of how the new cars could fit into the market. They do not seem to have a certain audience. If I was to be totally honest I thought that the new MINI models were meant as a bit of a gimmick or a joke, either that or the designers happen to get bored and decided to see what was the most ridiculous thing they could come up with was.
Maybe MINI should scrap everything and start again. The MINI brand did have some pace and power initially, but with this new ridiculous output it has lost a lot of trust and excitement. If MINI were to introduce a dedicated sports range I think they would gain a lot more success.
So, to conclude, the failure of the new MINI models is down to the cars themselves and their lack of direction and place in the current market. Dearest BMW owners, you have heard my views, and you have heard my suggestions. I will leave the rest up to you.
Keep Driving People!
Follow me on Twitter: @lewisglynn69
Peace and Love!
Petrol into Diesel; Diesel into Petrol
If you’ve ever put the wrong sort of fuel in your car, you are not alone. When one member of my family (who will remain nameless*) filled a diesel-powered work ute with petrol the other afternoon, the local garage said that it was the second time it had happened that day.
What happens if you put the wrong sort of fuel in your car? If you drive a diesel and have put petrol in the tank, you’re in real trouble. Petrol acts as a solvent and reduces the amount of lubrication that diesel can do to the engine parts – and diesel engines need that lubrication. The sooner that you realise that you’ve put in the wrong fuel, the better. If you’re still at the bowser when you realise what a nitwit you’ve been, don’t start your engine. The petrol can be drained from the fuel tank (along with everything else in the tank) and the wretched stuff won’t get into your engine and ruin it. If you start the engine – well, there goes your engine! They say that if petrol does get into the workings and start chugging around inside, a whole new motor is going to be cheaper than an attempt to repair it. If the car is on the older side, a whole new car might be in order.
What about the reverse? What if you put diesel into a petrol engine? This is less of a disaster and you won’t kill your engine if you switch the ignition on. What will happen when you switch the ignition on is… not a lot. You see, diesel engines have a lot more compression than petrol engines to get the air hot enough to ignite the fuel. Petrol engines just don’t have what it takes. This is a very short description and there’s a fair bit of science going on here, but let’s stick to the point. Again, you’ll have to get towed away so your car can have its tank pumped out but if a bit of diesel’s got into the system, it isn’t the end of the world. But prepare for some rough running.
Manufacturers of cars and of bowsers have sensibly made the diesel and the petrol nozzles, and the holes they go into, different sizes. Diesel needs a bigger nozzle, so the chances that you’ll shove diesel into a petrol is slim, unless you have an older vehicle. This won’t help you if you try to put petrol into a diesel, as you can fit a small nozzle in a big hole. However, the way the nozzle wobbles around should tip you off.
The expense, hassle and humiliation of having to get a full tank of gas pumped out of your vehicle and chucked away can be avoided by either (a) not going on autopilot when at the bowser if you have two cars with different fuels or (b) getting one of the petrol pump attendants to do it for you. If they make a mistake, it’s their expense and hassle. Besides, you get to talk to a real human being (great after a day behind a computer or making endless phone calls) and ensure that your local garage keeps employing teenagers who would otherwise be making trouble.
*No, this person was not me. I know about this event because I got the call and had to head out with my big Ford Fairlane to tow this person to the mechanics so their car could have its stomach pumped. Family member is getting enough leg-pulls from everyone else so there’s no need to preserve their name for eternity online.
Asleep at the Wheel: Has F1 become boring?
After yet another commanding season, Sebastian Vettel was crowned world champion. Again. ‘Red Bull’ have proven that they have the best car on the grid. Again. Formula One is meant to be the crown jewels sitting proudly upon the crown that is motor sport. Formula One is meant to be THE example of just how great racing can be. Formula One is meant to be the guiding light that may shine forward into a new future of automotive sport.
…so why have I spent such a long time now being bored out of my skin?
The weird part of this whole situation is that I really want to love Formula One. The sport contains so many things that I love about life – fast cars, speed, glamour, theatre, the works. In many ways I can compare F1 to the James Bond film ‘Quantum of Solace’; that film has every aspect that should make any Bond film amazing, yet the whole thing appeared to be a bit of a laborious disaster. And I feel much the same about the apparent ‘greatest motor sport in the world’.
To examine the array of issues that are buzzing around my head, let me propose some questions:
Question One: Is it not exciting watching the rise of a new legend of the sport in Sebastian Vettel?
Formula One has been lucky enough to watch the rise of some of the greatest racing drivers known to man kind: Senna, Prost, Hunt, Fangio, Stewart… the list goes on. Throughout the 90s and early 00s we also saw Michael Schumacher. He won 7 world championships and became one of most loved drivers of the modern sport. Following this German take over, did any of us really think we would see another one? And then Vettel came along and proved us all wrong.
Sebastian Vettel
However this time, it seems a lot of people are not so impressed. The problem is that everything he has achieved has essentially been handed to him on a plate. He inherited a place on the best F1 team on the grid and has gone and started winning EVERYTHING. The difference between him and all the other legends of the sport is that he doesn’t appear to have worked for what he has gained. For some time I said exactly the same thing about Hamilton, but now he has moved to Mercedes and is proving his worth by being amazingly competitive in a car that everyone else thought would be mid-pack at best this year. Not only that, but since his initial success there has been a great deal of bias in the Red Bull team. In many ways I am not surprised that Mark Webber decided to retire having spent the last few years getting second rate equipment and playing Robin to Vettel’s Batman.
When Vettel keeps winning, it is now no longer surprising, it is just tiringly predictable. I seem to be spending most of my time hoping for a mechanical failure, a crash or a mistake. I really hate thinking that stuff but the problem is, it is the only way I can make it exciting in my head anymore.
Question Two: Technologically advanced cars racing at 200mph, what is not to love about that?
Formula One is meant to be the pinnacle of modern motor sport. The racing should be hard, fast, close and spectacular. And yet, it is not. When you sit and watch your average race these days, the commentary team seem to have some form of auto-gasm when there is an overtake. It is one overtake, guys. In one race there will be a small handful of overtakes, and this is treated like proof of sporting perfection. The fact that cars have to be fitted with an ‘overtake’ button and additional aids to make overtaking even possible says a lot if you ask me. I have said it a multitude of times before, but look at any Touring Car series; the British Touring Cars or the V8 Supercars. That is what hard racing should be.
F1 2013 at Monaco
Furthermore, F1 cars seem so fragile that ANY SLIGHT contact seems to result in race ruining damage that renders a car near-useless. Yes, I am aware that motor sport should never focus on collisions, but it is natural that there will be some coming together across the span of a race. Why not sacrifice some of the speed and make for a more exciting sport? Is it really that much to ask?
Finally, racing should be about well, RACING. What it should never be about is tyre and pit strategy. They are two elements that can make a race exciting. But when the focus is placed more upon them than on the racing itself, then something has gone horribly wrong. Listening to the eternal discussion about wings, tyres and pit strategy during a race makes me want to find the nearest bridge and hurl myself off of it. Murray Walker would never have wasted his breath talking about that.
Maybe it is just me, but processional racing is not what I love.
Question Three: There are new tracks being designed and built all the time, is that not exciting?
There are some things that I cannot even try to defend. And the lifeless, soulless and emotionless race tracks designed by Hermann ‘no imagination’ Tilke are definitely one of these things. The tracks are usually a mix of LONG STRAIGHT followed by TECHNICAL SECTION OVERLOAD, LONG STRAIGHT, MORE TECHNICAL… you get the idea. These tracks seem endless and lack the passion and soul of the classics such as Spa or Silverstone. Speaking of which, what on this holy earth have they done to Silverstone? The home of British motor sport has become an arena of boredom. What is happening?
Circuit of the Americas
While I am on this point, Mr Tilke really needs to get some imagination. If you want to design tracks that are so health and safety perfect meaning that run off areas are so large that cars do not lose out from them then that is one thing. But do you then have to rip off all the other great tracks in the process. The new USA GP circuit in Texas seems to have borrowed corners from already existing tracks. America is already full of amazing race tracks, do we really need another one?
In conclusion…
The answer is simple. Change. Call it revolution if you must but please, something needs to happen. The sport has become a painfully predictable game of chess played out on lifeless race tracks across the globe, doing nothing but serving the egos of the leaders of the F1 teams (well, mainly Christian Horner but still).
Where is the passion? Where is the raw animalism? Where is the soul?
In the new F1 video games, why else do you think that they are placing more emphasis on driving the classic cars? Could it maybe be because the modern sport is nothing compared to the titans of the past.
New is not always better. Sometimes we need to look to the past to find the answers for the future.
Keep Driving People!
Follow me on Twitter: @lewisglynn69
Peace and Love!
Level 2, 9 Help Street