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Automotive Dinosaurs: Welcome to Jurassic Autopark

There is no doubt that cars are awesome. Big ones, small ones, fast ones and slow ones, make your choice and still you will find a world of automotive awesome. In much a similar vein, ever since the release of Jurassic Park I have been convinced that dinosaurs exist in a whole universe of greatness. You have heard me tittle on about cars all the time, whether I am ranting away about drivers on the road, singing the praises of motorsport or reporting the dangers of hybrid cars on the market. If Private Fleet had a sister site named Jurassic Fleet, I can promise you I would be a regular contributor on there as well. Until that day however, you are all saved from my dino-love.

But what if I told you that on the wonderbox that is the Internet, there exists a whole new species. There are those who love cars, and those who love dinosaurs, but then there are those people who dreamed of a combination of the two. That sounds ridiculous, I hear you cry. And you would not be wrong in saying that, but hear me out, they exist. Witness now a whole new world…

“Dr Grant, my dear Dr Sattler… Welcome, to Jurassic Autopark”

The T-Rex looks angry, maybe she is against the size of the carbon footprint those 4x4s are leaving...

The T-Rex looks angry, maybe she is against the size of the carbon footprint those 4x4s are leaving…

I have excavated through the fossils of the Internet and come across a selection of dino-car gems that I just could not resist sharing with you. I mean, I love dinosaurs. How can anyone not love dinosaurs? Having come across cars that have been dino-designed, I can very much say my life has just become a whole lot happier. If you are having a sad day then fear not, I have come to you with a carnivorous gathering of reptilian wonders. Or if you wish to follow current arguments that dinosaurs were closer to modern day birds than reptiles, then no need to (birds of) prey no more, I have got some avian-auto-ancestors here for you right now.

invaliddinosaur

Hang on a minute, when I said the combination of cars and dinosaurs, this was not what I meant. People often ask me why the dinosaurs died out and why they did not become the dominant species on the planet. Well, is this not the answer you were looking for? Their motor industry never really took off.

Let’s try this again shall we…

dinocar1

To the person who saw this snow covered car and thought, “I want to turn this into a kick-ass dino-car”, you have to be one of my favourite people, and I wish to meet you so I can give you a hug. Most people see a car covered in snow and either write in it or use the snow for snow-ammo. But then there is that one person who wants to bring back the glamour of the stegosaurus to the modern world. This is greatness in its purest form.

dinocar2This began life as a VW Beetle. I can say with almost full certainty that this is no longer a beetle in any way, shape or form. This is not something you will see crawling around in the undergrowth. This is now a brutal beast of burden. You would think of squashing this under your foot. With those chunky off road tyres, and those spines, you would not want to come across this while alone in the forest. Just hope it is in a good mood. But seriously, this is one amazing piece of machinery. I think I know what my choice of car will be on my busy London commutes from now on.

Artist Credit: Ryan McGuire

Artist Credit: Ryan McGuire

If Barney the Dinosaur ever had a car-cousin, it would have to be this little beauty. This may be one of the cutest things ever to pass by my eyes. When I see this I also get the impression that if Dino the Dinosaur from the Flintstones was brought back to life today, this would probably be how he would look. Playful, happy and fun. What more could you want from your very own dino-car?

dinocar4This is truly a great example of a DIY-nosaur. If you loved my cheeky word play then chances are you will love the guy who came up with this dino-tricycle. I love the thought of someone sitting in a park, and behind the bushes you suddenly see the skeleton of a stegosaurus bobbing on past. Night At The Museum come to life. I told you dinosaurs were awesome right?

dinocar5As with the traditional construct of any entertainment based presentation, I have saved the best for last. This was the very image that started my quest for dino-car greatness. We have seen dino-cars of all forms, most of which are still fully functioning automobiles. The reason I love this so much is that I have a feeling its creator is my kind of person. They did not just add the generic spines to the top of an old Beetle, they have most literally formed the perfect combination of car and dinosaur. This sculpture has been created from materials that are associated with road travel, including car parts, traffic cones and all that general nonsense.

Maybe this car is in fact a metaphor. Let’s deconstruct this and see what I can pull out of myself. The car is painted green, symbolising the need for greener modes of travel, considering that we are slowly destroying the planet. The source car is an old VW Beetle. The Beetle is a car that uses the fuel powered combustion engine. The Beetle was also made popular by none other than Hitler as ‘the peoples’ car’. Hitler was a Nazi. The Nazi attempt at world domination was crushed by the Allied forces. The Hitler-led Nazi movement therefore suffered an ‘extinction event’. The dinosaurs too suffered an extinction. However, as Jurassic Park proved, dinosaurs can be brought back to life and spread chaos and havoc across the land.

What more, the engine of the Beetle was in the back of the car, and we all know that when people think through their behinds bad things often happen. True fact right there.

Therefore, this sculpture stands as a warning; the traditional combustion engine is an automotive dinosaur in a world of hybrids and electric power. We must move forward into modern technology. Also, Nazis are bad and we should not let them rise up again. I bet you never thought I could mention Hitler in an article about dino-cars. But I did. It is all about the metaphors.

I told you I was going to pull something ridiculous out of my brain.

Sometimes, what can I say, I do not want to talk about a serious driving topic. We all need some light hearted happiness every now and again.

If you enjoyed that, feel free to follow me on Twitter @lewisglynn69

Keep Driving People!

Peace and Love!

 

One comment

  1. Christine Glynn says:

    Lewis this is brilliant. Knowing how your mind works with dino’s and cars I could not stop chuckling. You seriously would love this to happen.

    February 20th, 2014 at 7:55 pm