Archive for December, 2013
Road Wars: Part Time vs Full Time Drivers
I would like to formally welcome you, dear reader, to a new chapter in my Private Fleet journey. Since getting the opportunity to write for this wonderful little site, I have dipped my toes into a variety of subject areas. One might even say that I was making sure I had my fingers in many pies as it were. But then, everything changed. In a moment of mind bending realisation, I saw it. For no more will my posts be random shots at the motoring world from the barrels of different guns. Instead, I would like to introduce the opening salvo in a new blog series that deals with those everyday aspects of our automotive society. Well let’s be honest I will still continue with the randomness, this is me after all. Anyway! Ladies and gentlemen, this is Road Wars.
For my first instalment I would like to address an issue that rattles me to my very core. We all have different names for what I have described as ‘Part Time Drivers’. Some might call them, ‘Sunday Drivers’ or even ‘Holiday Drivers’. In fact, over my many encounters with these beings I have given them ever more colourful nicknames. In our modern world, driving has become a near necessity for most of us. And as such, most of us will have learnt to drive and have access to a car. However, it is my view that the term ‘driver’ is now an all encompassing term that spans two very different voids of existence. To place all drivers in one of only two categories may seem a little strange and most likely inaccurate. There are most likely to be numerous sub-categories involved in both of these, but the basic message remains. Either way, stick with me on this one.
Definitions
A Full Time Driver: A person who drives for the joy of driving itself. A full time driver will enjoy the thought of driving and will aspire to drive a large array of cars in their lifetime. This person will spend much of their time driving and feel at one with their machine.
A Part Time Driver: A person who only drives because they have to. Their driving experiences will focus around the necessity of driving, whether this will be the school run, taking the family away or doing the weekly food shop. A part time driver will not spend very much time behind the wheel and see the car as nothing but a method of getting from A to B.
Since the dawn of the ‘Driving Age’, there has been an unspoken, indirect and passive war waging between the ‘Full Time’ and ‘Part Time’ drivers. I am a self-confessed full time driver. Think of this as the part time driver from the viewpoint of the full time driver. Maybe you may share share some of my views. Maybe some of you may oppose them.
I have had many an experience with these part time drivers, and I must say my view of them is not entirely positive. Now usually, as a driver I am usually nothing but the epicentre of patience. A feeling of calm serenity grips me as me and my machine float through the labyrinth of London roads. I would love more than anything to be able to tell you that this driving mode never falters. But then… But then I come into contact with… them.
The only saving grace is that there are warning signs; these are both temporal and geographic in nature. Firstly, chances are that if you are in close proximity of a shopping centre, supermarket or school, the probability of running into a part time driver (literally in some sad cases) does increase quite rapidly. Secondly, the reason I often call these glorious human beings ‘Sunday Drivers’ is because here is a shock horror for you, it is on Sundays and Public Holidays that they most often come out to play with the rest of us.
Sunday Drivers Are A Special Bunch
No argument can be made without evidence. And well, to illustrate just why I am not a fan of the part time driver I would like to draw your attention to the example of my road at home. Part way down the road stands a nursery school. And like clockwork, every morning my road becomes infested with some of the worst driving I have ever seen in my life. When a road is not particularly wide, you would think it would make perfect sense that those parked on the side of it would leave room for other cars to still drive up without issue. However, I have lost count of the times that I have found myself trapped up my road because these part time drivers have decided to park on both sides of the road opposite one another, therefore not leaving any room for any cars in between. I thought it was common driving logic that you never park directly opposite another car on a small road. But then again the intelligence (or lack of) of some people does so baffle me.
One of the prime territories for the showdown between full and part time is the car park. Whether it is people driving the wrong way down one way lanes, backing into the side of my car, managing to take three (yes I am not joking, I do mean three) parking spaces to park their car. Most of the time no one will question the stupendous stupidity of these people. Although sometimes I just cannot help myself. It is at this point that I am brought to stunned silence at some of the verbal diarrhoea that comes forth from the faces of these people. Usually part time drivers are those with a family of their other half and children, and it would seem that this gives them an inflated sense of self worth. Apparently, they are the most important people on the planet and they are exempt from the rules of society. Words fail me.
One of the times I am most worried by coming into contact with part time drivers is on the motorway. They either charge from lane to lane, with some crazy thought that they can outsmart the other traffic on the road or drive so outrageously slowly in the fast lane that they cause massive tailbacks and in some cases, accidents. And do not even get me started on the people that seem to prioritise their mobile phone, the makeup or catching up with their friends over actually driving sensibly and safely.
The ‘Part Time Driver’ has every right to be on our roads, and I would never begrudge them that. I mean, I am just a man currently sitting at his laptop after all. However, I do really think that the plight of us full time drivers should be made more public. If our worries could be expressed, then maybe we could begin to work toward educating these people on how best to make the most of driving. Yes, some drivers only have their car to get from one place to another, but that does not mean that they can get away with driving like an absolute moron.
Let us work toward a better future.
Let us bring in a new age of driving.
And so concludes this issue of Road Wars, tune in again soon for more from the every day motoring mayhem that we face!
Follow me on Twitter: @lewisglynn69
Keep Driving People!
Peace and Love!
Pocket Rocket Fun: Fiat 500
1957 was a watershed year; it saw the launch of Sputnik and thereby frightening the pants off the Americans, the unleashing of the raw talent of “The King” with Jailhouse Rock and Italy proved beyond doubt that small things DO come in small packages with the release of Fiat’s Nuova 500 (the new 500) but lovingly known as the Bambino. Rereleased in 2007, the Fiat 500 has a heartfelt following, primarily because of its endearing looks. I have spent time with the entry level, $14K driveaway, Fiat 500 Pop and found that none of the fun factor has gone away.
The Clothing
Normally I’d start with the engine however the sheetmetal is part of the attraction the 500 has. 
It’s a rarity in that it is almost identical to the original; with the quad light front and driving lights pushed out to the bottom corners through to the rear window line and hatchback, it’s an eyecatcher. For some “odd” reason the most common comment is “Oh wow it’s so cute” and, unsurprisingly, it’s from members of the fairer sex and those of an vintage to remember the original. It’s smooth, rounded, with a similarly upright nose as the original running into a more angled front line for the window. At the rear the main noticeable change
is the deletion of the airvents….otherwise, apart from growing in every dimension the design is a faithful homage to the original. Cute, that is.
The Driven Heart
Under that tiny bonnet beats a tiny heart. It’s just 1200cc, a touch small than the bottle of aerated flavoured drink in your fridge. There’s a tiny 51 kilowatts (5500rpm) and a commensurately small amount of torques, just 102 of them from 3000 revs. Matched up to a five speed manual (gasp, horror from the gallery) shifted by a short throw lever mounted high up on the dash, on paper the numbers state boredom. However, with a body weighing less than three soggy feathers, give a take a bird or two (865kg really….), the numbers metamorphose into a three letter word: FUN. Sure, it needs to be revved to extract the best but it’s FUN watching the tacho zing around the dial. The clutch has a natural and smooth movement, allowing just enough slippage to get away without a bunnyhop or stall. The engine note is coarse but clears its throat and becomes rorty as the revs climb over 3000. Once under way it’ll ratchet through the five gears, but the revs die away quickly as does what torque there is. The ride is choppy, thanks to an overall length of just 3.5 metres and a wheelbase of 2.3, which has the 500 tucking the nose in for a touch of understeer whilst the rear steps out in oversteer when thrown into a series of tight, slalom like curves. Sadly, the fun factor is diminished by an overbearing road roar from the 14 inch diameter steel wheels and rubber. Over the 
rubber speedhumps that infest certain roads the suspension doesn’t deal nicely with them, crashing harshly and being thrown off line. The narrow track and short wheelbase also combine to make the 500 somewhat unstable with a cross breeze, however, on a dry road, with no wind, it’s easy to throw around and have fun with it.
Officespace
It’s the interior that brings the circles of life to the Fiat 500 Pop; naturally there’s 
the tiller however there’s the speaker frames, the dash design and the rubber foam headrests. It’s a smart mix of classic retro and modern, a colour scheme that looks straight out of the late sixties (black and cream) highlighted by the subtle integration of LCD and technology. The radio controls on the dash have their own circles, flanking the CD slot and rise over the circles of dials for the aircon controls. It’s a cohesive, enjoyable look and ergonomically well laid out. Unfortunately down below it’s not quite as easy to deal with as the clutch and brake pedal are just that little too close, leading to a clutch foot overlaying the stop pedal on too many occasions. The steering has two settings, Normal and City, which takes away just about any weight the wheel would normally have, replacing it with a lightness of spin, swirlable with just a finger. The wheel itself is in the same shade of cream 
as the rest of the trim and is backlit with a soft red at night, as is 
the main dash display. Bluetooth, under the quirky name of Blue&Me, paired easily although the radio had an odd habit of going to a different station than the one that was on when the ignition (an old fashioned and still worthwhile key) was turned off. Roomwise, it’s ostensibly a four seater…..nup. Even with my 178cm frame in a comfy enough position the rear leg room…. wasn’t. The seats themselves were sat on, not in, with slabs of foam rubber being used and there’s barely any give in that stuff anyway. Seat adjustment too is akin to pulling the teeth of a goldfish with pliers, it’s just too tight to have any real flexibility.
The Wrap
When, in a former life, I sold cars, I was fortunate enough to be at a place that sold these. Cute yes, but cute is nothing without spirit, without soul. The 500 has that in bucketloads. Although understandably lacking in torque, giving the 1.2 a rev and matching it with the manual ‘box lends itself to fun driving. Tossing it through corners, with its sub-tonne weight and feeling the tail slide out, listening to the rorty engine note, looking at the simple circle design theme and the surprisingly well integrated colour scheme and once in the right driving position, the 500 exudes an old fashioned and increasingly rare part of driving and for $14K it’s a cost efficient form of that missing element in life and on the road: fun.
The Sordid History Of Speeding Tickets
Speed limits and all their associated legal paraphernalia have been with us for a while, it seems. I came across a book called The Strange Laws of Old England by Nigel Cawthorn and found (among heaps of other trivia) a few facts about where these rules all started up.
Back when things that moved by themselves were first invented– horseless carriages, locomotives and Mr Benz’s petrol-powered internal combustion engine – it didn’t take too long until the law makers started shuffling bits of paper and red tape around. It wasn’t the only red thing, either. One of the very first laws controlling motorised traffic (the Locomotive Act of 1865) required any vehicle that didn’t rely on animals to get moving to have a bloke walking 60 yards in front of it carrying a red flag to warn everybody that one of those machines was coming along – if only the cavalcade accompanying the council worker mowing the grass verges near the roads where I live was a simple as one red flag. While that fellow was walking with the red flag, the car itself should have three drivers at once. (Don’t ask me how – one to steer, one for the accelerator and one for the brake? One for each pedal?) The speed limit at this time was a positively blistering 2 miles an hour in town and 4 miles an hour on the open road (the average speed for a trotting horse is 8 miles an hour). The give way laws dictated that if a horse rider or the driver of a horse-drawn carriage held up his (or, more rarely, her) hand, the car had to stop. If you failed to comply with the speed limits, naturally, there was a ticket to be passed out and you would be fined the huge amount of £10 max was handed out. They raised the speed limits 31 years later to 14 miles per hour in rural areas.
Arrest them immediately! This car has only two drivers rather than three!
It was about this time that the very first speeding ticket was indeed handed out to a speed freak named Walter Arnold, a resident of Kent who was caught doing 8 miles per hour in an urban area, thus exceeding the speed limit by 6 miles per hour (alternatively, doing quadruple the designated speed limit). A cop chase ensued, with the bicycle-mounted policeman overtaking Mr Arnold and fining him one shilling when he was caught. Considering what would happen to you these days if you were caught doing four times the legal limit in town, this was a fairly light sentence.
Speed traps weren’t far behind, either, being introduced in the early 1900s. By now, the speed limit had been raised to 20 miles per hour on the open road and 10 miles per hour in urban areas. However, in special effort to clamp down on those naughty leadfooted Brits, speed traps were put in place. These traps consisted of a nice tall hedge, a cop and a stopwatch. If one of the boys in blue timed you going from A to B in less than a certain amount of time, he would set out in hot pursuit on a bicycle.
Bicyclists didn’t have it all their own way, though. Those rattling bone-shakers could spook horses and make them bolt – and if you think today’s traffic can be dangerous, you haven’t seen what a horse having a panic attack can do. One particular by-law required cyclists to “inquire politely” if they wanted to overtake a horse-drawn carriage so the driver of the horses knew to take a bit of extra care. A lot more charming than putting on the indicators…
If you are looking for a bit of light reading for the holidays coming up, you can have a bit of a peek at this book, if you can track it down. There’s more trivia about traffic laws – including the fact that a cabby (taxi driver) is allowed to pee on the rear wheel of the taxi as long as he (presumably!) has his right hand on the wheel – and a list of the offences that might have been the one that put your ancestors on the ship to Botany Bay.
Level 2, 9 Help Street