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A Very Merry (Stormy) British Christmas

Twas the night before Christmas

And all through the land

Not a road remained drive-able

Not even for a van

I am indeed writing this on Christmas Eve in the United Kingdom. As a child I of course found myself dreaming of a White Christmas, before coming to the abrupt realisation that I lived in a land of dull dreary drizzle filled misery. The chance of me waking up to a snow filled Christmas is about as likely as me getting a date with the Australian beauty that is Rose Byrne. I am perfectly aware however that as my brain cells translate the chemical thought patterns into physical movement that causes written words that the Australian Christmas is a highly different affair to that of which I am used to. As the great man Tim Minchin doth speak, you Australians will be…

“…Drinking White Wine In The Sun”

And as such I thought it necessary to set forth unto the world a story of a very British Christmas 2013. I am not sure if the British weather is worthy of Australian news, but if this is not the case, let me fill you in. For the last few months, the usual miserable British weather has let loose a storm of rage unto our nation. Usually it is the case that the weather is wet and overcast, but just enough for the old biddies of the UK to moan and groan at their daily bus stop meet ups. However this year this mild moist-ness has turned into storms of epic proportions. Well, when I say epic, I am not comparing these to the real storms that occur across the rest of the world. But for Britain, pounding rain and howling wind is enough to bring the country to a grinding halt.

Not just your normal amount of rain...

Not just your normal amount of rain…

We find ourselves on the eve of Christmas eve and the whole country has been warned of imminent stormy conditions. As the night arrives my attempt at sleeping is ruined by the battering of the rain upon my window and the power of the wind smashing the glass from nearby garden houses.

Christmas Eve arrived, and my eyes were opened to the horror that lay before me. Chances are you have been wondering how I was going to bring this very British rant into a car based discussion. Well, let me put it this way, my Christmas Eve driving experience was so much more complex and terrifying than ever before. It is not often that you find yourself driving along, singing along to another Christmas classic, you take the corner…

“When the snowman brings th- FALLEN TREE IN THE MIDDLE OF THE ROAD!”

Trust me, it will be at number one next Christmas. I am just beyond glad that the brakes on my car have been kept in good condition that stopping was not an issue. While I am on that point, it is always a help to know the best way to deal with emergency stops in soaking conditions. When learning to drive, we are often tested on our emergency stops by slamming our feet on the brake. Have any of you ever tried doing that on a soaking road? Well here is a little lesson in friction; you do that and you will find yourself sliding at basically the same speed you had been going at originally. Oh, and you probably will have no control of the direction your car takes either.

Those winds were a lot stronger than people thought...

Those winds were a lot stronger than people thought…

What is the trick you ask? Well, remain calm and do not panic. You do not want to lock the brakes and start a slide. What you do want to do is slowly but firmly apply the brake. Not everyone would do the same thing, but my advice would be to repeat the previous step numerous times. In my previous experience it reduces the probability of sliding and it will bring you to a stop in a smooth and uneventful manner.

Speaking of rain covered sadness, the amount of rain that had fallen on my fair land had resulted in my drive being blocked by a flooded road. The funny thing is, the reason my local town had flooded is because the local council had decided to use the floodplain of the river to build new houses on. And yet after doing that seemed so shocked when excess water had NO WHERE TO GO APART FROM FLOOD THEIR TOWN. Dearie me, the genius of some people…

I must say though high speed (ish) driving through large puddles is so much fun. If you find yourself on an empty bit of road faced with a large body of water blocking your path, you know what to do. Trust me, you will not regret it!

It just remains for me to say, that I hope you have a Happy Christmas and it brings you all the happiness that you all deserve.

Let us raise a glass to another year of fantastic motoring! And thank you so much for this opportunity to be part of the Private Fleet family!

Merry Christmas Everyone!

Keep Driving!

Follow me on Twitter @lewisglynn69

Peace and Love!