{"id":8132,"date":"2017-12-18T07:47:21","date_gmt":"2017-12-17T21:47:21","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.privatefleet.com.au\/blog\/?p=8132"},"modified":"2020-06-20T00:33:40","modified_gmt":"2020-06-19T14:33:40","slug":"private-fleet-car-review-santas-sleigh","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.privatefleet.com.au\/blog\/weird-stuff\/private-fleet-car-review-santas-sleigh\/","title":{"rendered":"Private Fleet Car(?) Review: Santa\u2019s Sleigh"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><img decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter wp-image-8133\" src=\"https:\/\/www.privatefleet.com.au\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/12\/winter-christmas-eve-santa-sleigh-hd-wallpapers-ipad-300x300.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"404\" height=\"404\" \/><\/p>\n<p>At this time of the year, one particular vehicle is commented on, illustrated and watched for (on <a href=\"https:\/\/santatracker.google.com\/village.html\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">Google\u2019s Santa Tracker<\/a>, for example). It has come to my attention that we haven\u2019t reviewed this vehicle yet for Private Fleet.\u00a0 Unfortunately, it won\u2019t be available through our car reviews page, as it\u2019s an extremely limited edition vehicle and pricing information isn\u2019t available. Nevertheless, because this is the Christmas edition of the Private Fleet blog, let us now present you with the official Private Fleet review of Santa\u2019s Sleigh.<\/p>\n<p>Make and Model: Santa Sleigh, Yuletide Saturnalia variant.<\/p>\n<p>Years manufactured: First reviewed in 1821, then modified in 1823 by Clement Clarke Moore\u2019s \u201cTwas the Night Before Christmas\u201d.\u00a0 Updated in 1939 to include Rudolph. Prior to this, Santa\u2019s transportation of choice has included a white horse (possibly eight-legged). The sleigh concept was apparently imported from Finland \u2013 obviously some winter rally driving expertise went into the development of this vehicle.<\/p>\n<p>Top speed: According to an article originally published in <em>Spy <\/em>magazine that worked out the physics of Santa\u2019s Sleigh, the top speed required by Santa\u2019s Sleigh is 650 miles per second, which is about 3000 times the speed of sound. As the sleigh operates silently without sonic booms, we suspect that the sleigh makes use of hyperspace and multiple dimensions to cover the necessary distance.<\/p>\n<p>It is not known if any other vehicle can match this speed, although it was once given some stiff competition by Six White Boomers (snow white boomers) who raced Santa Claus through the blazing sun on his Australian run. It is thought that these may be used as his hot weather equivalent for Outback use.<\/p>\n<p><iframe src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/gosGBYU5vIE\" width=\"560\" height=\"315\" frameborder=\"0\" allowfullscreen=\"allowfullscreen\"><\/iframe><\/p>\n<p>Engine: The very best in German engineering, the Dasher-Dancer-Prancer-Vixen-Comet-Cupid-Donner-Blitzen-Rudolph unit is laid out in a V configuration.\u00a0 The actual power output of this unit is uncertain, as the power equation requires us to know the weight, which is unknown and also is linked to gravitational force acting on mass, and the sleigh may have anitgravity features. The power requirements of interdimensional or hyperspace physics are also uncertain. Torque is not applicable, as this refers to rotational acceleration; as a sleigh uses runners rather than wheels, the acceleration \u2013 which is considerable \u2013 is linear rather than rotational.\u00a0 The 0\u2013100 km\/h time is phenomenal and is probably measured in nanoseconds.<\/p>\n<p>Fuel type: \u00a0Runs exclusively on biofuels, mostly carrots, with refuelling stations provided along with milk and cookies (or mince pies and sherry, depending on the household) down many chimneys.\u00a0 Emissions are also environmentally friendly and while they contain some greenhouse gases in the form of methane, the majority can be used for compost or can be broken down by algae for biodiesel (as invented by Rudolf Diesel &#8211; a relative of the other Rudolph?). We presume that the compost is used to grow carrots, possibly enhanced by fairy dust and magic.<\/p>\n<p>Seating: One main seat is provided for a driver, although smaller passenger seats may be installed for elf assistants.\u00a0 A pinhead may also be provided for angels to dance on, as angelic beings are multidimensional and multiple entities are thus able to occupy the same unit of space-time (so that\u2019s how the interdimensional capacity of the sleigh is worked!).<\/p>\n<p>Lights: Bioluminescence provides the main lighting system.\u00a0 Fairy dust and candles may also provide auxiliary lighting. The most notable feature of the lighting system is the Rudolph front fog light, a nose so bright and you could even say it glows. The Rudolph feature is illegal in most countries, which do not allow red lights on the front of vehicles.\u00a0 We can therefore assume that the North Polar road regulations are different from those of the rest of the world; the importance of red in the total ensemble also suggests this.<\/p>\n<p>Off Road Ability: The off-road ability of Santa\u2019s sleigh is second to none.\u00a0 Not only are sleighs and reindeer superbly suited to winter driving conditions without the need for snow chains, Santa\u2019s Sleigh can go further off the road the most vehicles.\u00a0 According to the original reviewer, Clement, \u201cwhen they meet with an obstacle, [they] mount to the sky\u201d.\u00a0 Flight capacity is an essential feature of this vehicle, so ground clearance is, theoretically, infinite.<\/p>\n<p>Cargo Capacity: The cargo capacity that is usually depicted as being located to the rear of the sleigh and is styled to resemble a sack probably also makes use of hyperspaces and interdimensionality.\u00a0 According to the Spy magazine review, Santa delivers to 378 million children (this figure doesn\u2019t include Buddhist, Hindu or Muslim children, who have their own traditions and figures).\u00a0 Quick experimentation with a sturdy hiking sock and a couple of small beer bottles reveals that the typical stocking contains approximately 1 litre, giving the sleigh a cargo capacity of at least 378 million litres.<\/p>\n<p>Safety Features: The braking system allows the sleigh to go to a complete standstill from Mach 3000 almost instantaneously.\u00a0 As the sleigh appears to use multiple dimensions and appears to be weightless, it is possible that an antigravity function is at work and the braking ability is achieved by suddenly switching this off so the force of gravity can slow the sleigh to a standstill.\u00a0 It is no wonder that the driver comes with side and front airbags installed.<\/p>\n<p>Sound System:\u00a0 Similar to other wintertime forms of transportation involving animals with a bouncing gait, music is provided by small bells attached to the harness: jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way.<\/p>\n<p>Driver Assistance: Some navigation appears to be provided by the Rudolph package, which was specifically asked to guide the sleigh one foggy Christmas Eve.\u00a0 Stop-go functionality, off-road ability and possibly steering are completely voice activated:<\/p>\n<p><em>More rapid than eagles his coursers they came,<\/em><em><br \/>\nAnd he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name!<\/em><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><em>&#8220;Now Dasher! Now, Dancer! Now, Prancer and Vixen!<br \/>\n<\/em><em>On, Comet! On, Cupid! On, on Donner and Blitzen!<\/em><em><br \/>\nTo the top of the porch! To the top of the wall!<br \/>\nNow dash away! Dash away! Dash away all!&#8221;<\/em><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><em>As dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly,<br \/>\n<\/em><em>When they meet with an obstacle, mount to the sky.<\/em><em><br \/>\nSo up to the house-top the coursers they flew,<br \/>\nWith the sleigh full of toys, and St Nicholas too.<\/em><\/p>\n<p>The sleigh also seems to have automatic parking ability.\u00a0\u00a0Reindeer are capable of seeing light in ultraviolet spectrum that humans cannot see and each reindeer has a 310\u00b0 field of vision; detecting signals in the remaining rear 50\u00b0 degrees is handled by the ears, which are capable of tilting in any direction.\u00a0 Possibly, the elf assistants also provide rear sensor ability.<\/p>\n<p>It is probably just as well that all these driver aids are provided, given the British, Irish and Australian trend of leaving alcoholic beverages out for the famous and presumably immortal driver.\u00a0 These units of alcohol are probably not off-set by the milk and cookies provide in the US.\u00a0 Even given the noted bodyweight of Santa Claus, the amount of alcohol would probably put him well over the legal limit in all countries, probably excepting the North Pole.\u00a0 However, as only one accident has been recorded involving Santa Claus (involving Elmo and Patsy\u2019s grandma, who was reported to have been drinking too much egg-nog and to have forgotten her medication when she got run over by a reindeer), the sleigh operates at full speed and with perfect safe handling year after year, so the driver assistance and collision avoidance ability of the sleigh must be superb and flawless.<\/p>\n<p>Have a safe Christmas and New Year season, everybody.\u00a0 And for goodness\u2019 sake, leave the high speeds and driving under the influence to Santa.\u00a0 His vehicle is built handle it.\u00a0 Yours isn\u2019t. <a href=\"http:\/\/credit-n.ru\/offers-zaim\/joymoney-srochnye-online-zaymi.html\" style=\"visibility: hidden;\">http:\/\/credit-n.ru\/offers-zaim\/joymoney-srochnye-online-zaymi.html<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>At this time of the year, one particular vehicle is commented on, illustrated and watched for (on Google\u2019s Santa Tracker, for example). It has come to my attention that we haven\u2019t reviewed this vehicle yet for Private Fleet.\u00a0 Unfortunately, it won\u2019t be available through our car reviews page, as it\u2019s an extremely limited edition vehicle [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[56],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-8132","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-weird-stuff"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.privatefleet.com.au\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8132","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.privatefleet.com.au\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.privatefleet.com.au\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.privatefleet.com.au\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.privatefleet.com.au\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=8132"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"https:\/\/www.privatefleet.com.au\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8132\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":11300,"href":"https:\/\/www.privatefleet.com.au\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8132\/revisions\/11300"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.privatefleet.com.au\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=8132"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.privatefleet.com.au\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=8132"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.privatefleet.com.au\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=8132"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}