Have you seen a rather funny dialogue going the email rounds lately purporting to be a sketch featuring John Clarke and Bryan Dawe?<\/p>\n
It’s worth a read so we have re-produced it below. As far as we can discover it was not a skit run on the ABC, and it is not ascribed to either of these humorists, but it’s funny, nevertheless:<\/p>\n
Scene: A car yard. BRYAN is perusing the stock. He is approached by JOHN]\u00a0John: \u00a0 \u00a0 Morning! Looking for a new car?<\/p>\n
Bryan: \u00a0 \u00a0 Nope. New Prime Minister, actually.<\/p>\n
John: \u00a0 \u00a0 You’re the third one this morning. Anything in mind?<\/p>\n
Bryan: \u00a0 \u00a0 You know…… nothing fancy, reliable, economical family model. Something to get the country from A to B.<\/p>\n
John: \u00a0 \u00a0 You mean like a Howard?<\/p>\n
Bryan: \u00a0 \u00a0 Yeah…a little Johnny. Nothing flash, does the job. Low maintenance, economical, sensible. Runs for years, no troubles.<\/p>\n
John: \u00a0 \u00a0 So…. you used to have one?<\/p>\n
Bryan: \u00a0 \u00a0 Yeah. About 10 years. Great little model – don’t know why I got rid of him — biggest mistake I’ve ever made.<\/p>\n
John: \u00a0 \u00a0 What happened?<\/p>\n
Bryan: \u00a0 \u00a0 Traded him in for a Kevin 07<\/p>\n
John: \u00a0 \u00a0 Big mistake.<\/p>\n
Bryan: \u00a0 \u00a0 Lot of people bought it. Good political mileage.<\/p>\n
John: \u00a0 \u00a0 How was the Kevin 07?<\/p>\n
Bryan: \u00a0 \u00a0 Came with a $900 factory rebate – that was good.<\/p>\n
John: \u00a0 \u00a0 Anything else?<\/p>\n
Bryan: \u00a0 \u00a0 Not much. Sounded nice but nothing under the bonnet. It was a lemon.<\/p>\n
John: \u00a0 \u00a0 Didn’t stick around for long did it?<\/p>\n
Bryan: \u00a0 \u00a0 Nah – had a factory recall. Shipped overseas and was never seen again.<\/p>\n
John: \u00a0 \u00a0 What was the problem?<\/p>\n
Bryan: \u00a0 \u00a0 Lots. But the final straw was the navigation system. Plug it in and it automatically loses its own way.<\/p>\n
John: \u00a0 \u00a0 Whatcha got now?<\/p>\n
Bryan: \u00a0 \u00a0 It’s a Gillard-Brown.<\/p>\n
John: \u00a0 \u00a0 The hybrid?<\/p>\n
Bryan: \u00a0 \u00a0 Yeah. The Eco-drive system – not a good idea. An engine that can’t deliver hooked up to a transmission stuck in permanent reverse.<\/p>\n
John: \u00a0 \u00a0 Green paintwork with a red interior. And steering that always lurches to the left for no apparent reason – that’s the one?<\/p>\n
Bryan: \u00a0 \u00a0 The Fustercluck model.<\/p>\n
John: \u00a0 \u00a0 The only one they made, Bryan. Not the vehicle of choice for the road to recovery – but did they finish up fixing the navigation system?<\/p>\n
Bryan: \u00a0 \u00a0 Made it worse. Turn it on and it does a press release, heads off in all directions and goes nowhere.John: \u00a0 \u00a0 So that’s why you’re here?<\/p>\n
Bryan: \u00a0 \u00a0 That’s right. I’m stuck with a car that’s wasteful, expensive, ineffective and past its use by date. I don’t suppose you’ve heard of the “Cash for \u00a0Clunkers” scheme?<\/p>\n